this man gets it

To begin, listen to this. As always, kill the lights, silence the phone, open a bottle of red. 

I've been overkilling this song since Brady first shared the jam with me. And after 2 months of repeat play, I still am getting hit with something every time. Jose, mad props. (Disclaimer: this song is proceeded by Miley Cyrus, We Can't Stop  on my phone. So, that's always a random and non-consequential transition)

I got to drive to Winona this weekend for a little cabin fever 5k with some pretty cool running folks. When you make the 2+hour trek to Winona on an over-tired (insert: i'm not in college anymore and can't pull off staying out until 4 and then being ready to go at 6:30 AM for a long drive. I was stocked with quite the liquid brigade to combat that situation)  you make the trip worthwhile. What does making a trip worthwhile on a bitterly cold MN day? Taking back roads and getting lost, obviously. 

No place to run and no gasoline. 

Ok, NOT exactly. But. Back roads of Winona, closing in on the town of Pickwick... and Google Maps just kind of fell off the grid. So, the hatchback was just roaming on snow covered back roads off in the middle of no where. Luckily, at this point, my liquids started to kick in and my 2 cups of cold press were bringing me back to life. And, Jose hit me yet again. 

I need to start making this "no place to run" stage in my life kick ass. Not really sure how. It might require frequent drives to the middle of nowhere for me to get it. Because, at the end of the day, who are you when you have no place to run? #idontknowtheanswer #thequestionalonefreaksmeout 

And, I mean, I could pull a million lyrics from this song and talk about how freaking spot on they are. But, that's me. Now, listen again and feel what it is for you. 

perspective from the beach

some days i like to look at the big picture.

we live in a floating rock. sometimes i like 

to think that i can change the world.

that THIS MOMENT is everything,  

  

nothing else matters

i can't live in one absolute perspective .

change it up, get inverted

-c. soper

fusion

| fusion yoga |

"good yoga. what is good yoga? a calming experience? a killer workout? a yoking of people together in time and space to focus on the present? what drives these things together to drive something fundamentally addicting? something people take time away from other things, people and activities to experience? fusion. every experience is driven by perception, by your personal past and mentalility's impact on how you feel about your experience. no one can control that and no two people can feel the same way about a situation.

what can be controlled is the types of stimuli that go into an experience.
honest teachers
a real practice
a fiercely caring community

these are the things that come together. they fuse together to create the experience where you can barely remember your name afterwards, and you don't care because it feels so good."
- wise words, sam smith

depth over distance

| source: dream a little dream of me |

i don't think i have ever been a depths kind of runner. i am always for distance. surface-y. i have to have my garmin, know my pace, go longer, go harder than plan or it wouldn't count. but then there are runs like this...

| source: a very wild and free depth runner at heart | 

the runs where you don't have to right gear, or the perfect food enough time before, you leave the garmin at home, you run naked, no music. they're depth runs. not surface runs.

surface runs get me into trouble. surface runs get me too attached to results. looking back i think i may have had some depth runs. maybe we have different connections to depth, to distance at different times. our relationships to each are always changing....

but right now depth is challenge. and challenge is getting outside comfort zones. and that means getting off the pavement and on the trail. with my garmin at home.

note: i was having this conversation as i was walking in the across the stone arch bridge last night in the snow dream world. i was walking to get a kombucha across the bridge on st.anthony main. i think i am discovering some new-found cabin fever city style.

learn to unlearn

for those who believe in god, most of the big questions are answered. but for those of us who can't readily accept the god formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. we adjust to the new conditions and discoveries. we are pliable. love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. i am my own god. we are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state and our educational system. we are here to drink beer. we are here to kill war. we are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives to well that death will tremble to take us 

| charles bukowski | 

we adjust if we let ourselves. we are pliable if we stop sticking to rigid ideas of what is. beyond unlearning the teachings that we see in our every day, i think the hardest part is unlearning the teachings we create within. unlearn our habits, our methodologies, our philosophies, or standards that really aren't serving us anymore. unlearn what isn't working. unlearn the crazy, unlearn the hurt. 

and then we can laugh at the odds. we can challenge the people that tell us no. we can live our lives so well...

how do you know?

frances hodgson burnett | overheard at giant steps

like seriously.

how do you know

which one are we supposed to believe...

wise words

so we run around, we live chaotic lifestyles, we make ourselves busy so we can't stop and think about what we are doing with our life.....
like what we are really doing with out life. we avoid because we are afraid of the answer. 

but my life guru/soul sister/really really great life mentor just imparted this gem of wisdom- as the youngest, the creative thinkers, the all-over-the-place free spirits (that all of us really are) living, feeling like we are going nowhere with out life, or feeling stuck, or wanderlust, or dreaming of all these great and bigger places, jobs, people to be. but this is not lost, it is not us failing, it's all part of the process, it's all us creating our own personal methodology. 

best thing you have heard in a long time, right? yeah...

so all of it, all the chaos

the back and forth from minneapolis to saint paul

rushing from work to physical therapy to meetings

 rushing to the next, living out of your car, never brushing hair

trying to read and learn about cool companies doing cool things

searching, exploring, falling in love with a new place
endless bags of clothes for every workout necessary in the car at anytime

getting to play/nanny the coolest kids i know, jamming out, going for fro yo

tackling rush hour to make it to yoga

surviving on coffee and kombucha....

it's all part of my personal methodology.