Tuesday, July 29, 2014

So, what's next?

So, what's next? How do we deal? 
Don't overthink it. 

1. Play Mini Golf in the thick, summer heat (and win) 

2. Escape the city, and drive North. 

 3. Never stop being a kid. Play, play and then play some more. 

4. Fall in love with local flowers. 

5. Go on and get your best friend hitched and send her off to California. 

6. Picnic, as often as possible. 

7. Stay dirty, stay wild, stay barefoot. 

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

rinse + repeat, no more.

sorry for the radio silence, i'm out learning lessons. 

and spending a lot of time in the sun. 

because these days, sun time = figuring-out-altered-life time

Thursday, April 17, 2014

a few things //

it's been a while, team. what happened? i don't know. let's play catch up, ay? 

Monday, March 24, 2014

The Palm Springs Edition //

// public pool, don't mind if i do 

// en route to the coast

// gypsy reunion 

// sun me, beer me, ocean me 

// old chester coast to coast 

// san jacinto mountains

// two bunch palms= not real life 

// hammock heaven 

// karma made me do it 

// that lululemon is everywhere, #paintthetowninluon 

Saturday, February 22, 2014

malleable (a)

In my family, the cousin army rules. And, the cousin army is fierce and full of cousin mind meld (and a lot of love). It's not just that they get you (but, we definitely have that on lock down), it's that part where they push you and tell you what you don't-want-to-hear-but-kind-of-want-to-hear-but-it's-a-total-pain-in-the-ass-gut-check. 

Today, the gut check came by way of a phone call that ends all phone calls from one of the masters. MALLEABLE. Buzzword? Word of the day? Random topic of conversation? #noneoftheabove

An adjective used to describe me. Well, shit. It stung. And, therefore stuck and lingered for a few hours. Like, whaaaaat do I do with that? So- i'm malleable. Ok. 

"It's not the lack of a good, it's the presence of bad...." - KH

Which way are you going to go with it, ay? Malleability doesn't have to suck, but how are you choosing to let that be part of you. I got called out on all accounts of Malleable, option A. 
I over-trust, i over-involve, i buy into all the surface-y karma talk, i think we are all one and we are all connected, i let what I do define me, I give tank-tops to random strangers at the studio who forgot clothes for class, I meet people and instantly latch, I live in grocery stores and could talk to anyone about what is in their basket.... #malleablecity

"It's not the lack of a good, it's the presence of bad...."- KH

But, the cousin army is telling me I don't have to stick in the A. 

So, what is it? A? 
Having the capacity to let your environment, your situation influence you? Letting your injury define you? 

Or B? 

To have great capacity, to let change happen, to let (the fuck) go of your old life and start living with your next breath. 


how to spend a birthday, 
1. wake up to kesha alarm labeled "24 year olds have killer hips"
2. pick up peace coffee and deliver breakfast to Lululemon Grand Ave. 
3. head back across the river for a meeting with the good folks that put on the TC Marathon
4. gift yourself a long swim
5. have the best work family in the world take you to a long lunch at Barbette complete with the best cards and mimosas
6. get our ass kicked on a TRX workout
7. watch olympics while at PT
8. but a t-shirt at whole foods that says "hug dealer" because yolo it's your birthday
9. have dinner at your stomping ground restaurant in college (where everyone knows your name, and what to bring to the table the second you walk in) with your best friends
10. fall asleep to a birthday video from Old Chester Road

how to think about what went down in  your last year,
1. hip surgery happened, that was big and continues to be big. 
2. i got to go back out to the jerz for a few weeks and hang with my crew when Caroline went out west for the first leg of Keepers Book tour. That felt pretty full circle- that cookbook and that gypsy fed me for most of my growing up post-grad life
3. summer consisted of restricted activity, that led me to get a paddleboard and exist in a constant commute with board strapped to car trekkin' from downtown to the lake every day after work. Open lake swims, followed by sunset paddles, followed by a few run-in's with e.coli. #worthit
4. my parents sold the east shore house. one of those 'let's-pretend-that's-not-real' moments of 23
5. i moved and am still trying to actually live there, and nest, and live less out of my car. but, that may take another year. 
6. that twenty third year of life brought upon great career change- one being an internship that was a reality check of learning how that professional world works, the other was where I am currently. And, where I am currently is exactly where I'm supposed to be. 
7. To elaborate, my job now saved my twenty third year of life. (picture above)

Monday, February 10, 2014

this is how it is now.

this is how i started the day.

spiritual gangster greatness, aside, these pants hit the old hips. what happens when you define movement in a different way, ay? when you can no longer love, live and get by with traditional movement (running, handstands, pulsing, floating, pushups, plank, more pushups, etc, nike training club ass kicking cardio intervals)- what do you do?

let love be your movement? sounds nice- very yogi and flower-y and idyllic.

but, does it work?

let the end of my day serve as an attempt to answer that question.

i went to meditation for the first time. seated for 90 minutes. no screens, no water or kombucha bottle nearby to drink as a distraction, no sochi (i walked back to my car post meditation catching up though, #BODEEEwhaaaat), NO movement.

was there love in anything running through my mind? nope.
hardest thing i have done in a while? yupp.
do i want to go back? not really, no.

so, here i am, dehydrated and hibernating, trying to craft a way that sochi watching + jose gonzalez listening constitutes as meditation.

but, of all the things that went down in those 90 minutes, one thing stuck. the guy who was leading meditation kept saying, yes, this is how it is now.

over and over. over and over. this is how it is now. shit, it is, isn't it?

these things take time. love as my movement, standby.

BUT. a big thing happened today. i got real serious, swim serious. finally purchased goggles and a swim cap. my burning, bloodshot eyes will forever thank me. AND i removed the hospital bands. (note: the two scraggly things in picture tangled among the green rubber band).
ceremonial? i'm counting it as that.

#noremoreburningchlorineeyes #nomorehospitalbands #nomorewesternmedicineenergy #butletsberealtheswimcapwontsavemyhair #dreadsremain