this is how it is now.

this is how i started the day.

spiritual gangster greatness, aside, these pants hit the old hips. what happens when you define movement in a different way, ay? when you can no longer love, live and get by with traditional movement (running, handstands, pulsing, floating, pushups, plank, more pushups, etc, nike training club ass kicking cardio intervals)- what do you do?

let love be your movement? sounds nice- very yogi and flower-y and idyllic.

but, does it work?

let the end of my day serve as an attempt to answer that question.

i went to meditation for the first time. seated for 90 minutes. no screens, no water or kombucha bottle nearby to drink as a distraction, no sochi (i walked back to my car post meditation catching up though, #BODEEEwhaaaat), NO movement.

was there love in anything running through my mind? nope.
hardest thing i have done in a while? yupp.
do i want to go back? not really, no.

so, here i am, dehydrated and hibernating, trying to craft a way that sochi watching + jose gonzalez listening constitutes as meditation.

but, of all the things that went down in those 90 minutes, one thing stuck. the guy who was leading meditation kept saying, yes, this is how it is now.

over and over. over and over. this is how it is now. shit, it is, isn't it?

these things take time. love as my movement, standby.

BUT. a big thing happened today. i got real serious, swim serious. finally purchased goggles and a swim cap. my burning, bloodshot eyes will forever thank me. AND i removed the hospital bands. (note: the two scraggly things in picture tangled among the green rubber band).
ceremonial? i'm counting it as that.

#noremoreburningchlorineeyes #nomorehospitalbands #nomorewesternmedicineenergy #butletsberealtheswimcapwontsavemyhair #dreadsremain