never gets old

you know that feeling, around the holidays, when everyone is finishing finals and ready to take off for wherever their home is. leave the city, leave the semester behind, settle in and slow down for a while. yeah, that feeling. it never really gets old. in school, not in school you can still feel it, no? 

so get out and feel it. go on a long run, ditch the backpack, run like crazy away from school and forget about that final. because it's over.  maybe go to yoga, and do abs to this song.

| tegan & sara- closer | 

depth over distance

| source: dream a little dream of me |

i don't think i have ever been a depths kind of runner. i am always for distance. surface-y. i have to have my garmin, know my pace, go longer, go harder than plan or it wouldn't count. but then there are runs like this...

| source: a very wild and free depth runner at heart | 

the runs where you don't have to right gear, or the perfect food enough time before, you leave the garmin at home, you run naked, no music. they're depth runs. not surface runs.

surface runs get me into trouble. surface runs get me too attached to results. looking back i think i may have had some depth runs. maybe we have different connections to depth, to distance at different times. our relationships to each are always changing....

but right now depth is challenge. and challenge is getting outside comfort zones. and that means getting off the pavement and on the trail. with my garmin at home.

note: i was having this conversation as i was walking in the across the stone arch bridge last night in the snow dream world. i was walking to get a kombucha across the bridge on st.anthony main. i think i am discovering some new-found cabin fever city style.

learn to unlearn

for those who believe in god, most of the big questions are answered. but for those of us who can't readily accept the god formula, the big answers don't remain stone-written. we adjust to the new conditions and discoveries. we are pliable. love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. i am my own god. we are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state and our educational system. we are here to drink beer. we are here to kill war. we are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives to well that death will tremble to take us 

| charles bukowski | 

we adjust if we let ourselves. we are pliable if we stop sticking to rigid ideas of what is. beyond unlearning the teachings that we see in our every day, i think the hardest part is unlearning the teachings we create within. unlearn our habits, our methodologies, our philosophies, or standards that really aren't serving us anymore. unlearn what isn't working. unlearn the crazy, unlearn the hurt. 

and then we can laugh at the odds. we can challenge the people that tell us no. we can live our lives so well...

so it goes.

because life happens. ultimatums are put out there. big life choices apparently have to be made. 

so you just embrace this song on repeat and consider it a sign from the universe that kombucha went on crazy sale at whole foods. that's right lovers- case of kombucha for $21.60. you have time. get to whole foods before this magic vanishes and we return to $3.69 kombucha tomorrow. i'm hoping my case lasts me 'till wednesday. optimistic? yes. 

| bon iver i can't make you love me | 

beyond bon iver and kombucha, something big is going on that will make this week not suck. my bestie/partner-in-crime/mom/best maker of pb-nana toast/trilogy queen/ life teacher has her first week teaching. middle school science kids in northeast prepare to get your world rocked. miss anne is going to change the world in the best ways. 

keep it small.

this saturday. keep it small, keep it local. do the small business saturday thing. this whole concept was learned into me at a young age and is one of those things that makes more sense to me than say, being able to tell time on a clock with roman numerals. but it just makes sense, right? shop the stores in your hood, shop the stores where they know you by name (and kombucha flavor). shop the stores that give back, enrich and sustain your community.

i could go on forever about my love for the small guy so here are a list of my go-to's. and clearly a last minute realization but after you small business your saturday away come home and watch this movie by the fire. ultimate underdog local biz. 

and, i would love to hear some of your favorite small businesses. share away. 

| spruce mn |
recently have fallen in love with this place. the instigator of this love fest  was the fact that they create beautiful simple bouquets and put them in beautifully simple vases. because seriously, who wants a flower arrangement is those ugly, tacky over-the-top typical vases that floral studios use. yeah, you know what i am talking about? spruce is the studio doing something different, and doing it well. girl's gotta appreciate a nod to simple taste done right. 
ps. how fun would it be to take one of their holiday classes 

| midwest mountaineering |
i literally have never left this place empty handed. and whenever my sister is in town she always makes sure she gets a midwest run before her flight home. second floor will blow your mind. and the workers know their stuff. which is so refreshing and at a place like this, super interesting. 

| hunt & gather | 
a new gem that i have recently been exploring. and a gem that you could explore again and again and find new nooks and crannies every time. this past visit,  sarah scored the coolest bright yellow window shutter that was all worn and patina'ed in all the right places. we hung it over her couch the long way for a cool wall installation peace.they just have so much cool reclaimed stuff. AND a room full of succulents. loot heaven. 

| patina white | 
whenever i am home and get to go to this studio i am blown away and every time i drive down the gravel driveway i think to myself that beth is like the emersonmade of minnesota. she does some unreal stuff. with loads of lake life style. too good. 

| rock paper scissors | 
my favorite paper store of all time. i feel like i have talked about it before. but man, it's killer. 

| home |

the sense of place that brought me to appreciate and love the small.

how do you know?

frances hodgson burnett | overheard at giant steps

like seriously.

how do you know

which one are we supposed to believe...

soundtrack to my morning.

| la blogotheque. take away show. lump sum. | 

this was my waking up song. aka i am driving at 5am and get to places and don't even realize how i got there. enter bon iver soothing my morning bones to come to awaken. 

| same love | 

this was my jam out, fully awake, get riled song that i played at that moment that you are almost to the place you are getting to. and you have to have just the right song for your last moments in the car to get you ready for whatever you are about to arrive to. yeah, that's this song.

| anything could happen | 

this was that song that when it comes in a yoga class you have to look up from your downdog with a huge smile on your face because you are loving on this jam and it just came on in sun b. day maker. 

| my life would suck without you | 

took me a while to remember what song this was, because it was that song that we burnt our arms out to. push-ups, triceps, biceps, madonna arms. rinse and repeat. rinse and repeat. my arms and shoulders were screaming at me that i think i blocked out the song for a bit. but it came back to me. my life would suck without fusion yoga and gitte. 

| drop it low | 

i feel like songs like this do better with no explanation. no judging necessary, you will re-fall in love with it. trust me. it was most enjoyed today on our drive to run the trails at lebanon hills. talk about a hidden gem. this place is pure magic. 

love list: city

because every city has loves, and all the loves need a list.

| peace food cafe | 
(image source: peace food cafe)

my sister has only been talking about this gem for months now.this past weekend the pilgrimage to the famed peace food cafe happened. and a love affair was cemented. i had a roasted japanese pumpkin sandwich with walnuts, cashew paste and greens. it was out of this world. the speed in which i finished it was pretty astonishing. and their juice repertoire, wow. i had green lemonade- greens, apple, lemon and ginger root. yeah, that happened.

| organic avenue | 
(image source: organic avenue)

confession, i was attempting to hit up peace foods for plane snacks before i headed to the airport but they don't open 'till 10am. this across the street, doesn't suck as an alternative though, yeah? (also should note, me seeking out plane snacks is a common ritual, that normally results in me almost missing flights. this was no different). and again, the upper west side just killing it with fresh juice bars. in a weak moment, i bailed on the green juice and got organic avenue's chocolate love smoothie. Purified Alkaline Water, Dates, Cashews, Irish Moss, Hemp Seeds, Cacao Powder... i don't even know what alkaline water means but i'm into it now.

| le pain quotidien |

Le Pain Quotidien, doesn't take long for this place to feel like home. my obsession began summers ago and has not faded. it's one of those places where i literally could eat everything off the menu, and be forever happy. and super important to note that all le pain's have a huge communal table, barn wood, reclaimed, awesome. ga, i could go on forever on how much i love this place. i get real nostalgic for the place this time of year too, in london there was a le pain around the corner from the school i studied at. and we would go there to study, well mostly just eat, and drink endless coffee out of their pot of french press. sense of place. dam, i love le pain. 

| otto | 
(image source: otto)

i first came to otto my first summer nannying in the jerz. my aunt does not mess around 

with good food. (read more about her food and life gypsy genuis status here: devil & egg). i don't think i have been back to the city since that first summer without a trip to otto. yes, we have a serious obession with this place. but their pizza, their bellinis... not worth missing. this time around, hurricane sandy left otto out of commision for a few days and when they were back up and running they had to make slight adjustments for that gnarly little storm. their swiss chard + goat cheese pizza was sandy-affected, so my sister and i had the tomato + pecorino + egg pizza and then loaded the arugula salad right on top. stellar. otto, you never cease to amaze. 

| eataly | 

eataly, wow. i really can't even to express this place in words. didn't have adequate time to take it all in. the conversation between my sister and i pretty much sums up how stoked i was to check this place out though. 

N: we're at eataly.

K: ahhhggggg WAIT FOR ME. 

what's your anyway?

i was lucky, lucky to take a last minute long weekend to nyc. who knew that when a hurricane is anticipated to rock the east coast, one can find a crazy cheap non-stop round-trip flight to jfk. (confession: took me the longest time to realize this was the case of me scoring a cheap flight last minute)

it was a weird feeling surrounding this trip though. the east coast was rocked. the marathon was cancelled. shores had been changed forever, power was out, gypsies were cold (i.e. my lovely jersey gypsies), gas "was being hoarded like it was the fucking hunger games", champagne and candles were the go-to.

i was trying to use this city weekend as a means to run away from stuff here, but then i was like well whaaaat am i doing, i am flying to actual disasters, mother nature disasters. flew out early on a saturday,  had an interesting trek into the city, a total mixed bag of public transportation, cab sharing with strangers, trekking with the backpack.

but from the moment i sat down to lunch at le pain with my sis and parents i knew some pretty serious weekend fun was about to happen. i suppose i should mention that the original intent of this weekend was for marathon weekend, in which my super fast mama and her running pals were signed up to take on the boroughs and race the city.

but something beautiful happened. sunday thousands of people showed up to run what became coined as the #runanyway marathon. i got to walk over to central park with my sister, dad, aunt, uncle, cousin, baby charlotte, and friends and watch thousands of people from all over the world run anyway. my mom and her crew ran 28 miles. so badass. and so cool.

think about it. what would you do anyway... if all bets were off, the pressure was lifted, no one was watching, it became an intentional choice instead of a 'have-to', you could do whatever your heart was wanting...

what's your anyway?

mornings.

because sometimes all you need is to burn out your arms doing crazy pushups and burn out your core to some nights by F.U.N. 

and then walk over to dunn bros for a big cup of black coffee.

i have found a new sense of place. Fusion Yoga, the love affair begins. 

full

you know those days, those weeks, those chunks of time that are full. and the fullness can be from whatever you want it to be from- meetings, work. emotions, big workout; the fullness is good, right. but there is a definite effect of that full on the days following...

you're not burnt out, you're not exhausted in the normal sense, but there is just something about that fullness. for me the fullness has left me with my head racing, what if'ing, and doing my normal over-analyzation of life and what is going on with my own. because i haven't wrapped my head around anything really, here are the snapshots. because maybe it's okay to take the full parts of life and look at them in pieces. we don't have to have it all figured out. that's part of the fullness, not knowing, not figuring out, continuing to fill up..

| don't sell yourself short | 

on the phone with my dad and he said this to me, an hour later at yoga kate c said these words at the beginning of class. there is no such thing as coincidence. 

| we take turns, love takes turns | 

taking turns. it's no joke. we get to do it every day. we take turns on our mat being super on that day, we take turns with our breath, we take turns with having energy. there is no better feeling than knowing the people in your life who are right there with you taking turns when you are out of breath, out of energy, out of it. 

| your anatomy is your anatomy. your life is your life | 

and then you get to celebrate birthdays at 5:29 AM with a dining room full of yoga mats, 90's music bumping and the most passionate morning abs workout at the herschel house. la vida is full.  

preach it.

via one of my absolute favorite tumblr's
| source:  dream a little dream of me |

no such thing.

there's no such thing as coincidence.

my sister said this to me on the phone today. we happened to be discussing our fear of choices, decisions, committing to something, picking right, the consequence of the wrong, if there is a right or wrong, why can't we nanny forever and avoid choices... the conversation went a little something like that. so amidst the spotty service that exists when you have a sister trailblazing the parkways of the hudson valley, some serious life talk happened.

the question came up about what it means to be comfortable, and helloooo what in the world is wrong with being comfortable, with being happy with you are and where you are at and what you are doing...
 is that necessarily a bad thing? it seems like there is so much loaded into this, right? comfortable. it's SUPER loaded. it's settling, it's mediocre, it's fear, it's holding back, it's a good thing, it's safe...

where taconic parkway met downtown minneapolis i believe we hit a realization. yeah, what the f is wrong with being comfortable anyway. whatever that means and whatever that looks like changes daily. but to be comfortable with you are and where you are at, that's beautiful, that's cool, that's the dream.

we continue to challenge ourselves, we continue to explore and see and discover more. but loving who you are and where you are at in a sense of place and rooted-ness- if that is comfort. i dig it.

the challenge i think comes when we learn to grow out of the 'discomfort' of change, of new, of transitions. to be uncomfortable with with a new sense of comfort, an unknown comfort that may exist in something new, in someplace new that's where i think we can get into trouble, where we can get stuck, where we can hold back...

the sister spoke the truth today. there is no such thing as coincidence. because we end up thinking about discomfort one day, and then comfort the next. 

p.s. as a side-note, a pairing if you will. i might suggest listening to this song as well

| la blogotheque. take away show. bon iver |

poser.

poser written by Claire Dederer. have you read it? if not jump on it. i had a moment today..  a re-memory moment of one of my favorite lines from the book. naturally, i happened to be in half pigeon.

"what is discomfort? what does it feel like? is it really pain or are you just in an unfamiliar situation? that's an ok place to be"

| claire dederer | 

wise words

so we run around, we live chaotic lifestyles, we make ourselves busy so we can't stop and think about what we are doing with our life.....
like what we are really doing with out life. we avoid because we are afraid of the answer. 

but my life guru/soul sister/really really great life mentor just imparted this gem of wisdom- as the youngest, the creative thinkers, the all-over-the-place free spirits (that all of us really are) living, feeling like we are going nowhere with out life, or feeling stuck, or wanderlust, or dreaming of all these great and bigger places, jobs, people to be. but this is not lost, it is not us failing, it's all part of the process, it's all us creating our own personal methodology. 

best thing you have heard in a long time, right? yeah...

so all of it, all the chaos

the back and forth from minneapolis to saint paul

rushing from work to physical therapy to meetings

 rushing to the next, living out of your car, never brushing hair

trying to read and learn about cool companies doing cool things

searching, exploring, falling in love with a new place
endless bags of clothes for every workout necessary in the car at anytime

getting to play/nanny the coolest kids i know, jamming out, going for fro yo

tackling rush hour to make it to yoga

surviving on coffee and kombucha....

it's all part of my personal methodology. 

the company you keep.

you know those places you always go in your hood that feel like home. those places where they know your name, your coffee order, your spot, your life story. it's nice right, to have places like that. to be in a city where you can find your home, find your people. 

| whole foods market saint paul |

| 128 cafe |

| core power yoga grand avenue |

| the plaza on a sunny day, because that is where we would be | 

away

because sometimes you just gotta believe in running away making everything okay.


"I travel a lot. I don't have a place of my own. I don't really know what I want to do in life. But spending time in places like this makes me happy.Everyone has their places and activities that make them happy. And they change over time. The ones that last are the ones that matter. Challenge, fear and discomfort can be good, but the places that provide a sense of comfort feel most like home. The world is so beautiful."
| dakota jones |

Wild Love: Krissy Moehl from Andy Maser on Vimeo.

DARK SIDE OF THE LENS from Astray Films on Vimeo.

victory

'so you come back to your breath
over and over again
that is your victory'
- gitte

my inability to run seriously throws my perspective of victory out of whack. my victory no longer gets to be that feeling after a 20 mile training run. or a sports bra run in the middle of the day under the summer sun followed by a jump in the lake. or a run that turns into a speed workout with someone who is faster than you and knows how to kick your ass. or that feeling on race morning; the nerves, the adrenaline, the sheer love and drive and hurt running through your veins. 

yeah, those are no longer my victories. but last night at the yellow barn brigitte said this. coming back to breath can be your victory. it's so good. so good. reframing victory is big for me. it's something i need to reframe over and over again. and maybe it's not breath, perhaps it's coming back to movement over and over again.  or coming back to energy over and over, passion, reflection, spontaneity, love, adventure. come back to the things that trip us up, that we lose sight of. come back to it over and over.

victory.  

reclaim(ed)

source: yellow barn wellness

magic on a sunday night. in a yellow barn. with a little sunset flow.
i don't think i can speak to how amazing this place really is. i'm talking that real, raw smell of wood. like come on. is there anything better?

 there is something so simple and beautiful about a barn, yeah? and maybe it's this cooped up, pavements and city thing that draws us to the opposite. but it's incredible. it really is out of this world to be able to do yoga in a beautiful place, with beautiful people as the sun goes down and as the world is slowly going to rest.

you reconnect. you reclaim. you re-figure out why you do what you do and why you move the way you move. there's something about bon iver, reclaimed wood, the sunset and gitte guiding that create something pretty awesome.

and stubborn love by the lumineers was on the playlist. killing me gitte. you are some kind of amazing.  but seriously, the yellow barn check out their site. how beautiful is their space? how bad do you want to host farm to table dinners there that include yoga?

source: yellow barn wellness

send more mail.

" they don't teach you this in school. 

they don't show you the beauty of existing. 

they don't show you the wonder of the earth.

 they don't show you the unity that human beings are. 

they don't show you who's better, who's worse. 

they don't show you love. "

(author unknown)

it's the simple things that i look back on and wonder why that wasn't what i was learning in school. right? 

let your body rest, heal and grow strong. give it rest and nourish it. grow the foods that will nourish your body. get your hands dirty so you are not just reading about vitamin b and the nutrients found in dark leafy greens you are seeing them take root and grow. 

sleep is important, super important. i was not aware that our bones needed 8 hours of sleep each night to repair and regain their strength from the wear and tear we put them through each day. that is something i would have listened to in science class. 

send more mail. practicing cursive on that soft, fuzzy, weird paper with the dashed line through the center of each line, yeah you know what paper i am talking about. when you would erase your lower case a because your hump went above the dashed line and your tail went below the bottom line your eraser would create even more fuzz on your paper. yeah, that paper. all that time we were practicing fancy cursive, why weren't we writing letters, making homemade envelopes, addressing/postaging and walking together as a class to the little blue blue post office box around the bend. 

yeah. to send more mail. that is curriculum i can get behind. it shows us the beauty of existing, the unity that human beings are and it shows us how to love and be loved. 

rinse & repeat.

'people help the people
and if you're homesick, 

give me your hand  and i'll hold it'

| people help the people-birdy |

safe to say this has been on repeat for a considerable amount of time in my life the past few days. 

the moments.

| bring your breath to tightness

with your exhale send out energy |

r. mclaughlin

i will never be able to recreate this moment, or the words, or sequence of songs that hit just so right. but today made me realize that's pretty cool. when a a moment, a series of moments, 60 minutes of moments can get you in such a way that you can't recreate it that's pretty amazing, right?

today was that. un-duplicated. some crazy beautiful stuff happening in a sun-filled yoga studio, with exposed wood beams, broken bodies, powerful souls and breath. i struggle with breath, i struggle with listening to it, with embracing it's quite pace. but today i heard breath in a new way, through a new voice. send your breath to your tightness, to the aching soreness, to the part of your body that screams at you when you wake up it's still sore from you kicking it's ass the day before. and with your exhale, send it out as energy. 

i am lucky. lucky is the only word i can think of, and it is so lacking but it's all i can think of. i am lucky to have spent 60 minutes in a yoga studio being led by ryan and practicing next to micah. and i can't write down every piece of mindblowing wisdom or dharma talk that comes from ryan, nor can i capture and bottle the energy of flow and breath that is micah on her mat.

but the moments are not lost on me. the moments happened. that was real life. a thursday afternoon in the city i love. 

well lived summer

don't let the prospect of scraped knees or bug bites keep you inside. 
they're symbols of a summer well lived

| whole living magazine, last summer| 

play with natural light.

drink water. add stuff. if it's mint picked from a garden, even better. 

star gaze. 

make popsicles. or orange juice in ice-cube trays. improvise.

send more mail.

pick wildflowers. and wild berries.

live in layers. swimsuit sunrise to sunset. layer and repeat.

the process.

| learning to love the process |

i tend to live in a constant state of life lessons of learning to love the process, honor that things take time and listening to what your body is telling you. 

this one in the picture, the one who is always behind these little life lesson mantras has joined me in loving the process. the word solidarity comes to my mind. but then the annoying clique of 'misery loves company' comes to mind and that i don't love. 

when learning the process means active bodies being put to rest, when learning the process means that which empowers us is put on hold, when learning the process means running our bodies into the ground can no longer happen on hot summer mornings for a long run around the lake, when that is life i don't want company in my misery.

so my mom, the ultimate badass. the one who runs with me into the ground, but who is the first to reflect the idea of loving the process is now learning with me, full of titanium from a gnarly tennis injury. 

so yeah solidarity. and during a long crafting sesh of cards to send to her in minnesota, i clearly was struggling with what to say. i started writing from my own learning process. which is shaky at best with my recent staggered past of bummer running injuries. 

and this is what it comes down to for me, learning to love the process is an every day thing. i start over every morning learning to love it. every single morning i need to re-learn what it all looks like. 

these things take time?